The Surge, the temporary increase in our forces operating in Iraq that was supported by my chum John McCain is working! How do you know? Well, for one thing, we haven’t brought any of those troops back yet. If The Surge wasn’t working we obviously would have tried the opposite of The Surge by now. We’d have tried an Unsurge by sending all of our troops into Iran, taking the Iranians completely by surprise and leaving the Iraqis totally baffled. The fact that we have troops in Iraq is proof that we want troops in Iraq, it’s as common sense as yellow ribbons and flag lapel pins.
Score One for The Surge!
Now my further evidence is what’s happening in Basra. The local Iraqi military, led personally into battle by John’s good friend (and thus the vicarious vicar of my heart) Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki found it so easy to beat up on Moqtada al-Sadr’s militia that 1,000 of Maliki’s troops (including two top commanders) just walked off the battlefield. You do not walk off the battlefield when you’re losing. You get carried off.
Score Two for The Surge!
Finally, the collapse of Bear Stearns and the housing bubble is evidence that The Surge is working. People don’t want to work at investment banks and buy homes any more. They want to sign up for The Surge! You keep hearing about people walking away from their homes. But you never hear where they’re Surging too!
Score Three for The Surge!
That’s game, set and match for my best friend, John Surge-y McCain.
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