It's 3 Am -- It's John McCain!

It’s 3 am and the phone is ringing.

You pick it up.

Somebody yells: “Turn down that music, people are trying to sleep!”

You just got a call from my best friend, John Sidney McCain. Like all people our age, John falls asleep at around 8:30 and then wakes up around 2 in the morning and is up the rest of the night with just a glass of warm milk and the telephone for company.

Here’s the difference between Democrats, Republicans and John McCain. Democrats think that the President answers the phone, Republicans think they pay servants to answer the phone and John McCain is on the phone already and he is very angry at you!

Imagine the Ayatollah of Iran awakened in the middle of the night by a ringing phone. He knows he shouldn’t answer because he knows it’s McCain calling. Still, he picks it up, and all he hears is some heavy breathing, a chorus from the Beach Boys and then boom. It’s over. Dead before he can put the receiver back on the cradle.

My best friend John Sidney McCain is up all night, making scary phone calls. The rest of the world can just lie awake, fearing the ominous ring. No, no, don’t call the police. They’ll only tell you what you already know. The call is coming from inside your house.